Its been an up and down 2 weeks I must admit in so many ways. Works very quiet, and I in myself have been up and down like a yoyo. My mind is constantly running and trying very hard to slow it down, and start taking a breather from everything that life is currently throwing at me. I'm not moaning about my life here one bit believe me, I guess it doesn't matter what job you do at times, or how people perceive your life, its all down to how you feel. Right now its about making decisions and importantly making the right decisions in order to move forward and start achieving what I want in life. I'm 29 in April and certainly not getting younger and its time I need to start getting prepared for what the future could bring. If this means calming down and being sensible then so be it. I need to ensure that I haven't got any distractions because that always seems to be the hardest thing, something that I struggle so much with.
There have been so few castings around for modeling work its frightening. This is so often the busiest time of the year for me and for a lot of people but even after the Olympics nonsense has died down it has gone even slower it seems. Its the nature of the industry I know and its not something that I'm new too, I've been doing it amazingly for 5 and a half years! Unbelievable really. So know the quiet times are tough and all, just still haven't found a way of dealing with it.
The casino channel is still flowing which is a good thing and still very grateful for it as well. Apart from climbing the imaginary Chard and running along Tower Bridge whilst on air, its all been fairly tame ;-) ha ha. If you watch channel 863 you will know about both of those activities ha.
I've been doing a fair bit of this of late, nothing too crazy but any chance of seeing a mate I have been doing it. I guess it might be my way of not being on my own, something that I used to be very happy with, but now I struggle with so much. Not sure whether thats because of the change from living in a relationship with someone to nothing, I'm not sure. But its all good and not complaining one bit about anyone I have spent time with, they are all good people thats for sure.
One thing I learnt very recently on a trip to center parks for my mates surprise 30th birthday, is how much people change when they get older. Its not a bad thing at all, its just life. When you find yourselves in different situations in your life everyone changes slightly. Being around my best mates was absolutely amazing. But when you have couples and single people in a close proximity it becomes very difficult. Its hard at times seeing couples so close when your there on your own going crazy like I always do. Just made me realise that I'm rather unstable at present. That takes a lot for me to say that must admit. YOYO BOY!
Wow that got a bit deep there! Moving swiftly on to some good news hopefully coming next week. Work and moving my ass into London finally to a new place that I cannot wait to get too. That will help me start moving forward with everything thats going on.
Apologies for the weird post, just sometimes this is the best way to get my stuff off my chest.