Disappointing couple of weeks

After the excitement of my trip to Vegas and getting some work in, the last couple of weeks have been extremely quiet. It gets very difficult out here and quite lonely when things aren't going according to plan. I am sure this is often down to the way I cope with everything and the fact I take myself to the gym for a few hours on my own as well everyday. Castings have been few and far between unfortunately and things I was hoping to move forward with haven't materialised. For example, my first presenting job out here I was hoping would become a regular occurrence, but I have yet to be called back in. Unfortunately, this is a reason outside of my control as the new channel is yet to launch and has been delayed for a reason. Its back to one of those sayings I have mentioned many times in the past:

"NEVER GET YOUR HOPES UP"

One of THE hardest things to do as a model, actor, host etc, as you are so often teased with something spectacular that is more often than not taken away from you. It's seriously like dangling a sweet in front of a child, only to take it away from them at the last minute. I have had it in the past with options many many times in modeling, and its such a tough thing to deal with.

It happened again this weekend, but this time with the mention of a trip back to London. Now, I have always said that if a job comes in that's worth me flying back for that I am willing to do it. It is a great chance to earn more money and for me to see my friends and family too. I received a few emails in the week with regards a potential modeling job back in London. The figure wasn't quite high enough to justify going back, but if my agency could find another job for me as well then it would definitely be worth it. They are so great to me back in the UK and they found another job for me! I was so excited, the thought of working, earning more money and what that could lead too. Plus, recent weeks I have found myself feeling a bit homesick, so to see my friends and family would be a huge boost to me as well.

However, as so often happens, the original job I was contacted about did not materialise due to the clients changing their minds with what kind of guy they wanted for the shoot. (something they absolutely have the right to do) It was so close to becoming a perfect scenario for me. More disappointment.



It's very important that I look to bounce back quickly from any disappointment, especially when it involves my work. But it is also very difficult to do considering my situation here in the US. I am on a very strict visa, which limits how much work I can do for other companies here, basically limits it to nothing. Now its a case of looking to other visa adjustments which could be a very long, expensive and tiring process. It adds to a lot of pressure whilst living out here and I need to find a way to cope with that.


So many people see my life as an easy, fun living one, but I can ensure you that it is far from that. When you have a career that is very unstable and you don't know where the next pay check is often coming, it makes it very difficult. But as you know, what makes a person is often how they cope with disappointment, so we shall watch this space.